Introducing Polemy

I would like to introduce Polemy, a being not of this world.  Often you read the phrase, 'what would someone from another planet think of us here?'  Well, Polemy is an alien and from time to time we will read of his take on matters Earthly.  To avoid confusion, I would like to clarify that Polemy and I are not related.  While several of my friends and colleagues often say that I came from another planet, I want to assure you that I am the genuine article, and have the 'Counterfeit Made in China' labels to prove it.


Polemy came from Outer Space,
To pay a visit to the Human Race,
Long he’d been a distant observer,
Now it was time to get a lot closer.

But first he had to pick his landing,
Many options seemed so inviting,
Bagdhad with planes and pyrotechnics,
Or maybe Westminster’s funny antics.

But to Paris he opts first to descend,
To sample the latest Gallic trend,
He’s noticed France likes to stand aloof,
To look down on others from their roof.

But the roof is cracking and full of gaps,
Seems the French are prone to mishaps,
Their Emperor Sarkozy is short on inches,
An aspiring Napoleon in modern britches.

He hears the French love cordon bleu,
Polemy thinks it’s those boys in blue,
He finds it means smelly fancy cheeses,
Leaves the plate, unaided, in little pieces.

They don’t eat cheese on Rah Free Tutu,
Polemy’s distant home in galaxy Ululu,
Eating discarded, as his race ascended,
Catastrophe had struck, no food resulted.

And next Italy, site of Ancient Rome,
He’s consulted Gibbon’s weighty tome,
In a blink of an eye he could elulu there,
But he wants to be a regular commuter.